7HabitsEffectivenessSelf-AwarenessAdler “Life is not the hand you are dealt but how you choose to play them.” “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you choose to respond.”
The first habit is being proactive. Clearly Covey means this in a more general sense than is typically implied. He begins with an exercise to imagine yourself as you read in order to demonstrate our own self-awareness. Our first task is to understand that how we see ourselves underlies how we see the world. Without this understanding, we will project our intentions onto others; i.e. noSeparationOfTasks.
Three arguments in favor of determinism are that of genetics (Sapolsky ), psyche (Freud), and environment. Each is based inCausality andEtiology, or in Covey’s words, based on stimulus/response theory. In other words, “It’s turtles all the way down”.
Hardships
Covey described the story of Viktor Frankl, a Jewish prisoner during WWII. Frankl noted that self-awareness was the one thing the Nazis could not take from him - “the last of human freedoms”. Underneath all the dehumanizing things done to him, his identity was somehow still in tact. This begs the question: what isIdentity? Does everyone have an unbreakable identity at their core? Why have some people’s psyche’s shattered, to the point that their identity seems unidentifiable? Does this lack of visibility of their identity truly mean it is gone? From stories of people that have cared for and dealt with the extremely mentally ill, I believe it is still the case that there is an identity left at these people’s core.
The question remains: why do some psyche’s disintegrate whereas others, in Frankl’s case, prosper? Sapolsky does not agree that Frankl just had more “grit” than others and was able to pull himself out by positive mindset. Frankl gave reports that he would use visualization and mental projection in order to exercise his freedom. He would imagine himself giving lectures after being released from the camps. He utilized his memories and his imagination in order to survive. Did this actually exercise some “real” identity within him, or was it merely a coping strategy that protected his psyche from a complete breakdown?
Discipline over motivation
Proactive individuals know that their actions are a product of their choices which are based on their values and principles. What are my values and principles? What is my Vision? Proactivity means using mindfulness to keep these principles at the forefront of my thinking throughout my day.
The first habit is the same lesson than Shannon is teaching me: if your value is to do a good job and produce quality, then whether or not I do that will not be a function of how I feel. Motivation should not guide my values; my values should guide my motivation. My motivation shouldn’t be guided by social influence either. How people treat me if not a reflection of my worth. People will treat you poorly, people will not like you, people will find you awkward or weird at times; making them feel otherwise is not my task. This again comes down to aSeparationOfTasks. Don’t allow the weakness of others to control your life.
This isn’t to say that you won’t feel the negative emotions resulting from being treated poorly or not being accepted by everyone. It does mean that you won’t allow it to effect your self-worth, your motivation, and your actions.
This aspect of proactivity comes down to impulse control: controlling the impulse to do watch TV vs do your homework, controlling the impulse to stay inside because you are anxious of a bad social interaction, controlling the impulse to speaking negatively towards Jenn in an argument, controlling the impulse to feel stupid when you don’t understand a concept immediately.
This habit will take repeated effort and dedicated focus.